My Father Hates Dead Beats – So Why Doesn’t he Hate
Himself?
Fore note:
Before I get into talking about my deadbeat father I just want to take a
moment to apologize to my fans… all three of them; along with a possible small
group of somewhat interested parties. I
have been MIA for many months and I am sorry.
Many months ago the woman that I thought I was destined to spend the
rest of my life with, the woman I dedicated my book to, decided that she needed
something and possibly someone else in her life. After 24 years of dating and 17 years of
marriage, 3 beautiful children, 4 states, dozens of pets, many failures and
just as many successes, it was over in a heartbeat. I was devastated and have been struggling
with it since. I have forgotten
everything else in my life and have even struggled at work; inflicted with
multiple emotional breakdowns in front of fellow colleagues. My desire to write, blog and bitch about
patients has seemed trivial. And it
still is, but recently I have been coming to terms with my new fate. It may not be the life I thought I was going
to live, wanted to live, but it is what I have been dealt and I need to do what
I tell my kids and want to tell my patients everyday… Suck it up! Walk it
off! Rub some dirt in it!... I have whined
like a little bitch and it’s time to man up!
Time will tell what I have truly lost.
Maybe she has been right along that we will be better off as co-parents
than lovers. Maybe my dreams of trips to
Florence, Paris and Madrid, along with another vacation or two on a nude beach,
wasn’t meant to be spent with her. Maybe
there is someone else more compatible with me?
After more than two decades I have to admit that it is difficult to see
a future otherwise, but maybe in time I will have the distance and the
objectivity to see a future bright with hope, happiness and love. Sorry to sound so corny and even more sorry
to use the word ‘corny’. I would just
like to say that hopefully my cynical, jaded hard ass is back. Enjoy my bitching and I encourage any
intelligent, sarcastic wit thrown back, even if it is in my face. “Welcome back Mr. Cotter,” you nasal bitch!
Okay, so back to the title of my blog which I am sure you
forgot by now. To remind you, I said
that I believe my father to be a dead beat.
So now that I have insulted my dad, let me go on record and explain that
I do not believe my father to be a dead beat.
Actually, he is a baby boomer that worked and contributed to society for
40 years. He worked various jobs, and
finally found a career in the criminal justice field. I will not detail which aspect of the
criminal system tortured him for over 20 years, because they all suck after a
few years. After the new job smell wears
off, you come to the realization that you are going to deal with shit for the
rest of your professional life, and reality begins to suck. Anyone who sacrifices their life in law
enforcement has my respect.
My dad and I were driving back from
the store and somehow our conversation became political. When it comes to politics we do not see eye
to eye. He began to bitch. He complained about a friend of the family
whose son ‘fried his brain on drugs’ when he was younger and is now on
government disability. He was in his
late 30’s and had not worked a legitimate day in his life. He never paid in to the system that was now
supporting him. He is on disability and
receives a check for $744.00 a month from Uncle Sam. From that he has to pay $224.00 for his HUD
housing rent. He gets a free cell phone
with 250 minutes a month. And the
biggest rub for my dad is that he gets free healthcare thanks to ‘ObamaCare’. With regards to his last point, I made it
clear that our family friend’s son has been receiving health benefits long
before evil Obama ever ran for President; a fact that he cared to ignore.
My father went on to explain that it
wasn’t fair that hard working tax payers have to pay to support a ‘dead beat’.
Why should ‘we’ have to take care of a man who essentially remains a child and
is now a permanent ‘burden’ on the system?
No one forced him to take drugs and make the decisions he choose. Why is society paying the price for his mistakes?
In my opinion he had a legitimate
gripe. I work my ass off, so much so
that it was one of the reasons my ex-wife was unhappy. I pay taxes.
I don’t get free anything. I
actually found myself agreeing with my father, but soon reality returned with
my very next set of questions.
I asked how far should society should go to take care of or even discard
the well being of its fellow citizens? I
asked about the triple cardiac bypass surgery he needed. He paused, more out of shock that even asked
the question. He worked hard and paid
taxes for over 30 years, so of course he deserved the surgery, even though his
financial contribution to the overall cost was nominal. I again told him I agreed with him. He then went on to tell me that his friend
who lives in a country that has a socialized healthcare system, needed bypass
surgery. His friend actually paid
nothing but was told that if he ever needed a second surgery the bill was on
him. My father was appalled but I
thought that was a fair deal. My dad was
upset that I even suggested such an idea.
I asked him why.
He went on to explain that like him,
his friend worked hard and gave back to society and he deserves whatever care
he needs. I then asked him how he
lived. My suspicions were correct. Like my father his friend was
overweight. He ate poorly, did not
exercise, smoked for years and didn’t seem to care about the potential long
term consequences that such lifestyle choices can cause. I then went on to ask him where is the
difference between such poor choices that he and his friend choose and the poor
choices that the ‘dead beat’ chose? Both
of which lead to a significant financial burden on society. The difference was my father and his friend’s
bad decisions took a little longer to catch up with them and society, but in
the end they did all the same. My dad
obviously disagreed.
I went on to explain that I do believe
that his surgery expenses should have been covered by society because of the
fact that he did contribute for decades to care for those before him. I also explained that I agree with his
friends’ government that if his friend fails to change his choices and ruins
his new heart like he did his first one, then too bad for him. The next round should be on him. At some point he and my father need to take
responsibly for their choices and stop looking for a handout.
After further debate I was not
surprised that he still disagreed with me, but he also wasn’t bitching about
the ‘dead beat’ that much any longer. In
fact he hasn’t brought him up since.
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