A few years ago I was relieving a
colleague after he had a long shift in the ER.
I could tell he was tired. He was
working in the ER part time ever since the new CEO of the hospital decided to
fire our ER director. As administrators
often do, they solve ‘their issues’ but often create other problems without
providing any solutions. Since our boss
and friend had been relieved of his post, the rest of us were running around
without any real leadership.
We were looking for help but our options were limited. The exception was the physician I was taking
over for that day. He was an excellent
provider - honest, caring and intelligent.
He had prior administrative experience; in fact he was the Chief Medical
Officer of the hospital. He was perfect,
with only one minor problem – he didn’t want the job.
My fellow PA’s and I continuously pleaded with him to take
the job, but every time we asked we were given a polite ‘no thank-you’. This morning was no exception; in fact, I
think he anticipated my asking. It was
rather slow that morning, so we had a moment to talk. I outlined the inner problems we were facing
in the ER without a director and then gave him all the reasons that he would be
the perfect solution. He politely
listened to what I had to say and then gave me his reason why he did not want
the job. He only had one.
“I have my practice.” He
was a board certified family practice physician. Not able to understand his reservations, I
clearly outlined all the benefits of giving up his boring, mundane primary care
practice and coming over to the dark side of medicine and work in the ER full
time. Less hours, higher pay, no need to
be ‘on call’, no business headaches to worry about such as employee issues,
payroll and billing problems. Simply put
it would be less time and headache for more money. Slam dunk!
He looked at me and agreed with everything I said. So what was the problem?
“I like my patients,” he told me.
I didn’t understand.
“You’ll see plenty of patients here.”
He smiled and shook his head.
“No… I enjoy the relationship I have with my patients in my office. That’s why I got into medicine in the first
place. I went into family practice
because I wanted to connect to the people I care for. It is important to me to have that
relationship. Without it all I’d be
is…” He trailed off looking for the
right thing to say, so I finished it for him, “An ER doctor.” He gave me a smile because I finally
understood.
Although I got his meaning, I could not understand why he
wanted to have such a connection to his patients. The thought was completely alien to me. This guy was old. He was from a different time when patients, and
people in general, were different – better and nicer. That had to be the reason, or maybe he was simply
a crazy old coot. What he was telling me
was the complete opposite of my goals in practicing medicine. In fact, I just bought a new stethoscope and
I got the longest one possible to limit how close I actually have to come to my
patients; the farther away the better. I
do not want to stand within 3 feet of these people, so why would I want to know
the personal details regarding their lives?
I dwelled on what my friend had told for the next few days
and even weeks. What he said struck a
chord and got me to really examine myself and what I was doing. What the hell was wrong with me? I hate patients. I hate them all, even the nice ones. This guy wanted to be their friend as well as
their doctor. The thought of such a
connection with these pain in the ass, self centered, freaks of nature makes me
nauseated.
I began asking my fellow ER colleagues what they thought of
their patients. I quickly realized I was
not alone. In fact, the overwhelming
majority of my cohorts are just as demented as I am. The beauty of Emergency Medicine is: get ‘em in, get ‘em out and hopefully never
see them again. It’s the perfect
relationship - no strings attached.
ER providers and nurses have problems with commitment. Why get into a serious relationship, when you
can have a bunch of one night stands.
Yes, ER personnel are immature, selfish people who are simply using you
for cheap thrills. We don’t care, and
please, don’t expect us to call.
So if you aren’t feeling well and are lookin’ for some lovin’
– Don’t go to the ER – take two aspirin and get a dog!
Buy Niam Hew's new book MediSin NOW!
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