The following is an excerpt
from “Another dose of MediSin”. Sequel
to “MediSin”. Hopefully terrorizing
readers in the near future. My apologies
- Niam Hew
I have been practicing medicine for over 15 years. In that time I have had to bear witness to
some horrific things. I have witnessed a
child die, a mother grieve with a pain that I hope I never have to feel,
patients brought into my ER shot, stabbed, eviscerated and dripping particular
matter (brain) out of their ears and noses after falling off a three story
building. In every case I have dealt
with such horror with unbiased reservation.
I controlled my emotions and passed no judgment, even when a gentleman tried
to explain how an Aqua Velva bottle found its way up his ass.
My
tenure has been filled with laughter, sorrow and fright that most people would
find hard to imagine. However, the other
day I witnessed something that completely disgusted me beyond anything I have
ever seen within my emergency room. In
all my years I have never seen something more horrifying as a 4 foot wide
wheelchair. As I was walking down the
hospital hallway, I watched a nurse suffer as she pushed this Winnebago of
wheelchairs towards the elevator after dropping a patient off. It barely fit though the elevator doors.
Why is
this so horrifying? Because a decade and
a half ago, such a contraption did not exist.
It was never even thought of. As
time has passed, I have seen wheelchairs grow bigger and bigger, as our asses
have become wider and wider. Fat Ass
Syndrome (FAS) is beyond a simple epidemic in this country. Two out of every three adult Americans are
overweight, while over 1/3 (35.7%) are obese.
According to the CDC every state has at least a 20% obesity rate. Since we have slashed our education budget I
will help with the math. It means that 1
out of every 5 people are obese (this does not include overweight people). Thirty-six states have at least a 25% obesity
rate (that’s one in four). Why should we
all care, even the skinny ones? Because
the reality is, with those statistics, we all know someone we care about who
has a weight problem. Not to mention the
healthcare cost. This country is in a
heated debate, more like an argument, regarding the healthcare issue and its
cost. It is estimated that obesity is
costing the healthcare system $150 billion a year (and that number is rising
every year). Our taxpayer money ‘soft’
at work to pay for this nation’s ‘Big Mac’ addiction. It’s our right to eat whatever we want damn
it, and when the shit hits the fan someone else better fix my fat ass. God bless America. The land of the free and home of the obese.
I will
be the first one to fight for our freedom to do whatever we want with our
bodies. However, that freedom comes at a
cost. That cost is responsibility. We need to take responsibility for our
decisions, and when those actions cost us harm we need to suck it up and either
rub some dirt in it and deal with it, or break open our piggy bank and pay for
our evil deeds. Don’t place the burden
on the rest of society.
So, if
you need a four foot wide wheelchair, show some appreciation for the poor nurse
who just blew out a disk in her back pushing your fat ass down the hallway, and
slip her a hefty tip for the pain and suffering you caused her. Trust me – after seeing the fat crack of your
ass peaking out of your hospital gown she will never be the same. Something like that stays with someone for a
lifetime.
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